I got her a Nickelback box set.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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