problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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