Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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