I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Boobs speak an international language.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Terrible idea I love it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
