so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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