Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
