just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
