you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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