I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
