She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
