I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
