he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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