Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
