You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
