Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize