they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
