She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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