saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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