brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
