Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I need to calm my uterus...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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