third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
