So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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