I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
