I just pynch a tree in the face
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My penis needs a shock collar
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize