We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
