I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
