i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
