My brain says no but my pants say off.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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