Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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