can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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