She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
