i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize