need another drink. this is the easiest way
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
