Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
