I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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