That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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