I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
