I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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