So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
