Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
