it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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