Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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