We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
