Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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