all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
