the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
