maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
