For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
