I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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