i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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