..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
