you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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