I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
