I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
