ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
