I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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