But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
