Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
