Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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