Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
